The Edge of Something Bigger

Just like that, another year has come and gone and I’m inching closer and closer to the big 3-0. I woke up this morning unaware that it was my birthday. I mean I knew it was coming, but I didn't go to bed reminding myself that my borthday was X amount of hours away. In fact, had my mother not sent me a “Happy Birthday, Baby Doll” text message I would have zombie walked from the bedroom, to the shower, and off to work treating the morning just like any other morning.

Maybe it’s because it falls so close to Christmas and New Year’s, but I have never been one to LOVE my birthday. By the time it rolls around I pretty much feel like standing on top of a mountain and screaming “enough already!” I don’t have a ‘birthday week’ or a ‘birthday month.’  I’m actually pretty thankful it’s only one day, no need to extend it beyond what it already is. At least not for this chick.

Anyways, as I sit here reading all the ‘Happy Birthday’ comments on my Facebook wall and digesting the text messages and phone calls from others sending well wishes, I must admit… I’m a little traumatized. I’m going to be a MOTHER. How can that possibly be!? Sometimes I forget that I’m married and next year, at this time, we’re going to have an almost one-year-old running around terrorizing the dogs and steering a pink hippo on wheels named Hailey, into our walls.  Where the hell did the time go??? Some days I feel like I JUST turned 18…or 21, and suddenly I’m staring at the ledge that is 30 and only weeks away from having a little human completely and utterly dependent on me. 

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If there is one thing I have learned throughout the last year, it's that nothing is impossible and nothing is set in stone. Plans are breakable and what you thought was a 'sure thing' could turn out to be complete hogwash. There are no certainties in life, only hopes and dreams, fears and nightmares and it’s how you handle these situations that define the type of person you are. Happiness is all about perspective and sometimes it takes a really strong and persistent person to continuously find things to be happy or optimistic about. Little tweaks here and there and a whole lot of persistence is bound to pay off eventually, even if it doesn’t happen as soon, or as perfectly as you had hoped or planned it would. And sometimes, they happen in a completely different way, a way you didn't even t hink about or even contemplate as a possibility. 

Life is a rodeo and you never know when the bull is going to kick you off and just stare at you waiting for a response. Make it a good one. Make it count. 

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Here's to the start of my 29th year...it will be interesting for sure!!! 

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