When you become a mom, there are very few things that scare you.
BAAAAAAHAHAHAHA What a line of malarkey that is! EVERYTHING scares you! Car rides make you nervous. What if you get into an accident with your kiddo in the car? Going to the park makes you nervous. What if they fall off the slide and hit their head, or what if some creep is there watching the kids, specifically your baby? Even things like going to the doctor's office can make a mom super nervous. Your kids not sick, but they have to go for their wellness check during the peak of flu season. All those little monsters running around sneezing and touching everything in the waiting room and you're supposed to take your healthy baby to sit in the same germ-infested space!?
When you first arrive home with your mini, you worry about things like SIDS or if they are eating enough. You worry about if they have enough layers on to keep them warm, or maybe they are too warm. Are they sleeping enough, or maybe a little too much?
Then your baby starts to grow which only makes your worries grow. You worry about things like a leg getting stuck in the side of the crib, or how much pain they might be in because of those dang teeth. You worry if they are getting enough stimulation or if they should know more words than they do. You worry about them choking on a piece of food, or if they are getting super hormones from the cow's milk you've been instructed to give them.
So much to worry about, so little time.
My biggest fear is my child suffering a medical emergency while I sleep soundly in the next room. Of course, we have a baby monitor and her room is literally right next to ours, but if she doesn't cry to alert us to an issue, how are we supposed to know she's okay?
My biggest fear almost came true last night. I woke up this morning at 9:30 AM. Shelby normally wakes up between 7:00 & 7:30 AM. Sleeping until 9:30 AM is highly unusual. I flew out of bed to check on her. She heard the door open and immediately stood up in her crib, but her hair was wet. She had vomited ALL OVER her crib. She never cried out, never made a peep to let us know something was wrong.
I scooped her up and headed to the bathroom for a tubby. I set her down in the tub and she immediately sat down, like she was too dizzy to stand on her own accord. She tried to stand up a few times but immediately sat back down. Then it hit me; she had fallen the night before and hit her head on a lego block. She had only cried for a few seconds before moving onto the next adventure, but none-the-less it was a hit to the head. She also has been sick with an upper-respiratory nightmare complete with a flemmy cough and massively runny nose.
After drying her off, a quick dressing, and a nice big sippy cup of water followed but a medley of different foods to entice her to eat something, I called the pediatrician. As I was on the phone, Shelby could be heard yelling "birdie, birdie, birdie" in the background. Clearly, my child was not phased, not nearly as much as her mother was. Doctors orders were to keep a watchful eye on her. Anymore vomiting or dizzy spells and we were to head to children's hospital for evaluation.
Thankfully, all seems to be a-okay. She's eating like a little piggy and playing like the little Rambo baby that she is.
What they don't tell you when you are going to become a mom is just how much time you will spend worrying about things that are seemingly out of your control. Maybe they don't tell us for fear that no one would want to be a mom. But I can tell you that a full day spent worrying is so worth the love and joy she brings to my life. I wouldn't trade mommyhood for anything. My Shelby AnnMarie is the light of my life and my whole world.
Child better learn how to cry and tell her mommy something is wrong instead of sprawling out all over her own vomit. She has her mothers tolerance for pain and discomfort, but she needs to learn that she doesn't need to be so strong, at least not yet.