Almost 30

So today I turn 87 years old…more like 27 but it feels like I might as well be digging my own grave. Might be a bit dramatic but after the last few months, I feel like I have aged 50 years.

Cashing out at a department store and the cashier asks how old I’m turning after my mother insisted on paying for my purchases as a birthday gift.

“I’ll be 27.”
“Oh wow. You’re almost 30 and that’s old.”
“……”
 
I could feel the smirk on my moms face behind me and I could hear a small hiss of air escape her lips as she attempted to hold back a chuckle.

“Sigh. Yeah, almost 30.”
“I mean you don’t look like you’re 27. You look really young.”
​
Poor girl. The knife was pretty secure in my jugular. Nothing she said could reduce the bleeding or seal the incision that was made. Either way I was walking away with a bruised ego and a gray sweater with a neon yellow heart on the front. I had purchased it as a knock-around the house sweater but walking out the door I felt too old to have a neon yellow heart sweater in my closet at all. 

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Sometimes I feel like I have lost control of this machine; my life is a runaway train. Barreling through boulders, guard gates and broken rails with no regard for the attempts to slow it down…even when I feel life NEEDS to slow down it just keeps on chugging along.  

By this point in my life I had imagined an old farm house in the country, or an old Victorian. Lots of acreage, horses (rescues of course) and a career as a writer. Oh, and a couple dozen rescue dogs and cats.

Alas, I work an 8 to 5 office job as a minion, live in the suburbs and do not own any horses…yet.

​Sometimes, life doesn’t follow your guidelines. Sometimes it veers so far off your plan that you look back and think "how did I end up with four dogs, three cats and a crazy (good looking) husband?"

When I imagined my future I never thought I'd be where I am today but that's the great thing about life, its ever changing, revolving and throwing curve-balls. It's an adventure. A water slide with tunnels and blind corners. Sometimes you feel like your drowning and sometimes you're giggling and smiling with firecrackers of adrenaline. Sometimes your bathing suit gets caught on a screw and you end up in the pool with no bottoms on. Shit happens.

The point is, whether you're 87 or 27 it doesn't matter. You're alive just as much today as you were yesterday. Just make sure you're LIVING and not just surviving.

Happy Birthday to me, 27 years in the books and I can't wait to see what my 28th year has in store for me.